I got my letter back today from the Missouri Board Of Counselors. I sent my transcripts in to see if I could be licensed in MO. They sent me back a letter that said I didn't get my MA in the correct major so they didn't review my transcripts. For those of you who know me, you know I don't take rejections well. I just started a class called "Success Built to Last" in the first class of the course, the question was raised "what is success?" Of course just as I am asking myself this question and understanding that it is up to me to decide if I am successful, along comes a letter telling me that has far as educating myself to enter a new field is concerned the Board of Counselors in MO told me I was a failure. I went to school to gain credibility to legitimize my beliefs and process so people would know I could help them sort through their inner and outer world. It appears if I chose to follow the "normal" ways of counseling at this point I have failed. I was hurt by the rejection letter, mostly because it felt dismissive (which is another button for me). As my day progressed I got angry(I'm good at angry). I put two and a half years into an education that is not much good (my thoughts). I got mad at JFK (my school) and at myself for not looking far enough ahead to see what the requirements were. As I calmed down from my over active insecurities I remembered that I went to school their, because it was not the "normal" education and I was looking for a different programed where I could learn more about reclaiming my soul.
I forgot that my concerns were we concentrated on the mind, or just the emotions and that all of these emotions, thoughts, life occurrences are just the way our soul, this to often unconscious essences, is using to try to be heard. I will call and clarify what else I need to learn, as I choose to make sure whoever I am working with is safe and in the capable hands of a professional who can protect their legal rights and offer the best resources to best assist them. However, I do know that I have helped people reach a better understanding of themselves because I listened to their soul and hopefully gave them tools to listen as well. I don't know if I think I am a success for there is more I wish to do, but I do know I am not a failure, as usual I am listening with my heart and doing it my way and trust me when I say that is not easy.
What is Success to you? Are you successful? What are you Passionate about? Where does that passion spring from?
Please say a prayer or hold a positive thought for your greatest good and the greatest good of all.
Thanks
Namaste
K
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2 comments:
Perhaps real credibility has to come from w/in not w/out. Sit with the emotions that are being produced by this "rejection" and see what comes up. You created this reality for a reason - and it is to hear your soul - and to live authentically. The rejection letter from the state only exacerbated your existing insecurities - so it is now your teacher - let it teach you - discover the lesson and then move on. You read and replied to an e-mail that I shared a process Dharmakeerti took me through re: sitting in my fear - and not projecting or denying but being - w/out analysis - just a thought to consider as you process your current situation.
windancer has it right, what is that letter besides a piece of paper? It is nothing, it shouldn't mean the world. You started your education becuase it is what you wanted to do, not what some state told you - you should do. Doing what you love, being passionate about what you do, and giving it your all is what truly matters.
As for rejection, screw rejection. You are who you are, you don't need a piece of paper to say it's okay for you to help people. You don't need an office - all you need is you, your wisdom, your love.
Like windancer said use it, use the emotions you felt, figure out your next step and keep on moving.
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