I spoke to my mom today about my not so firm future plans. It was good to speak with her to get a better understanding of how her way of being has affected me. My mom is enormously supportive of me and has always given me a strong sense of self. She has always listened to all of her children as if we were the most important people, with the most significant things to say, (its all in the way she listens). I picked up on something today as we spoke, in listening to her story I heard her concerns with money, her story has many worries but mostly one of lack and repression from lack of funds. She talked about other people being better and not getting to do the things she wants to at certain times. I say this not as a slight to my mom but because we are all affected by our parents story; the story of their lives and the narratives they tell. While in dialogue, I told my mom I feel a tightness in my chest when I hear you and I don't know what to do with your story. She said that's because I like to fix things and I can't fix this. The truth is I feel stuck when I hear my mom repeat her limiting beliefs, I have heard them many times. We talked about changing old patterns/beliefs by noticeing some of the thoughts that come up and changing them. She and I laughed about her telling herself she is a lottery winner or a big score winner on the boat.
Seriously, I know her story affects me, I hold some of the same worries I have heard for so long. My hope is that I have a better understanding of where some of these fears come from and to know they aren't mine. (Learned can be unlearned) I am not stuck, I have the ability to live a different way. I am working with the full lesson of our relationship and the stories we hold for each other.
What lesson do your parents hold for you? Look at the life story they tell. What patterns are they? Do you hold on to their beliefs? How does that work for you?
Progress not perfection:
Please say a prayer or hold a positive thought for your greatest good and the greatest good of all. Thanks
Namaste
K
1 comment:
I am glad you are hearing your mom's story. Our parents' stories are the foundation of the structure of who we are - yes, we can change that foundation - but first we have to hear the original stories - and understand the impact they hold in our lives. So many people never investigate this most important aspect of self - the key stone to our own stories.
Your mom feels a lack of - a less than - I beleive that when we hear that story as children (and my guess is that has always been her story) - it effects our self perception. Not consciously - but unconscously - which is the most powerful of thngs - and the unconscious holds us each in its grip until we can make it conscious/known. So maybe as you travel to learn others' stories it is good that you are hearing your mom's story. That is the original story of your life.
Post a Comment